Books

Introduction

I believe there is a very long way to go in adopting vulnerable children without traumatizing them or causing them undue stress. I experience a continued general lack of understanding of the inner emotional life of adoptees as well as a lack of recognition of how their reactions, feelings and thoughts are unconsciously influenced by early childhood trauma. I also believe that there is a long way to go before offering the right help to adult adoptees who are currently only offered traditional psychological and therapeutic advice. Talk therapy alone is not always sufficient to release their traumas. I also believe that we need to start looking much more in the direction of complex PTSD because the separation from the mother can cause a huge shock and leave the adoptee extremely overwhelmed. This e-book will not solve any of the above problems.

Adoption is incredibly complex, which makes it even more difficult to draw up guidelines for how you, as an adopted adult, can navigate life. Not two people are the same, and no adoptees have had the same adoption, the same experiences, or feelings regarding being adopted. This makes adoption difficult, and that is perhaps the essence of this e-book: that it must be read by you and understood by you and not by others. The e-book is written with a conscious focus on individuality, so that it speaks directly to you as an adult adoptee. The e-book is not a checklist of how you can or should navigate life as an adopted adult. That book does not exist, and I personally would be surprised if one day it jumped off the bookshelf.

This e-book mainly focuses on the inner states of the individual, which is why there is no focus on appearances in any of the chapters. As a white person, it would be impossible for me to write about or speak to the experiences of racism connected to adoption. There is therefore a focus on the inner mental processes that all adoptees have in common and can reflect on. The e-book is written in an easy-to-read language without complicated words that require prior knowledges. Each chapter is based on overarching themes that have been found relevant through my work with adoptees. The chapters start with an introduction to the theme, followed by an explanation of the challenges you may recognize, and conclude with an exercise that can strengthen those aspects of yourself.

Language: English

Length: 86 pages

Format: E-book

Price: $29 American Dollars

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1. Identity Formation of Adoptees

Chapter 2. Why Trauma Disrupts Your Life

2.1 Children's Basic Needs

2.2. What Trauma Does To Us

2.3. Take Back Control

2.4. Exercise: Focus on Yourself and Your Body in the Present Moment

2.5. Exercise: Strengthen the Contact with Yourself and Your Inner Emotional Life

Chapter 3. You Become the Story You Tell

3.1. Exercise: Find Five Words in Your Own Story that You Can Replace with Another Word

Chapter 4. How to Set Healthy Boundaries

4.1. Exercise: Thought Exercise on Setting Healthier Boundaries

Chapter 5. Put Words to Your Adoption

5.1 Exercise: Write Freely

5.2. Exercise: Compose and Unsend Letter

Chapter 6. Understanding Adoption on a Deeper Level

6.1. Exercise: Connect with Your Biological Family through Visualization

Conclusion: The Further Journey

The Tool Box

Extra Worksheets & Exercises

Recommended Literature for Further Reading

Literature